Here, I'll talk a bit about my music, how it's made, and the stories behind them.
So far, I have one finished album, titled Hi, I'm Lavi{nder}, released on November 22nd, 2025. It's the first release of what I'm hoping to make a trilogy of introductions starting with this album, a video essay, and a psychological horror visual novel.
Hi, I'm Lavi{nder} is intended to give you an impression of who I am. The album has a defined emotional journey, with a tonal nosedive midway through, ultimately resolving into a hopeful, yet weary ending.
Speaking for myself, the final album came as a result of me saying screw it, and releasing what I have. I originally intended to remake several tracks off the album to my current standards, but I released it as is just to complete something. I'd much rather prevent my perfectionism from stopping me as it has many times before.
As for how it was made, it was made entirely within FL Studio. Vital was used to create the synths heard through-out the album. I also recorded myself hitting various things in my apartment for some of the found sounds heard through-out hte album, most notably on the track "Synthetick".
The first completed track was "Rei", as a result of following a tutorial on how to create Touhou style compositions. That tutorial is a fantastic introduction to music theory in my opinion, and laid the groundwork for the rest of the album.
The second completed track ended up being the final track, that being "see you". I still vividly remember the afternoon it was made in. I think I had stayed up all night. And when the sun started peeking through the blinds, I felt inspired enough to stay up even longer, and make the track. I wanted to go extremely basic compared to "Rei", instead only using piano. I took the opportunity to play around with as many chords as I could, and used a lot of 5th and 7th chords to ratchet up the tension, only to be resolved in a triumphant final movement. The final result still makes me tear up sometimes.
The first two completed tracks came together pretty quickly, but the third completed track, "Mari", was a struggle. I'd make a part, then get stuck trying to figure out what to add or how to follow-up, then figure it out a day or two later. If I recall, this track took a full week, which is an anomaly compared to most of my songs. Most of my songs are usually made over 2-3 days at most, often a few hours. See, I have this problem with finishing large projects after the intrinsic motivation fades away after a week or two. This is why all my digital art, and music are made so quickly. It's most apparent in my art, as they are practically colored sketches. There's nothing particularly wrong with this, a lot of great art and music are made in a small amount of time. Anyway, "Mari", ended up being the most compositionally complex song on the album.
We'll break from completion order here and I'll just talk about tracks in whatever order I feel like. Starting with "Synthetick", this track was the first one to feature found sounds for the drums. The most obvious one would be the ticking heard through-out the track.
"goodnight" came about from a very distressing night. Something I've found myself doing when I'm particularly upset is sit down and make a sappy piano song about it. This is also how "Ceiling" came to be.
"dear" is actually originally intended to be used in my psychological horror visual novel. I'll likely end up re-using the song for the final game anyway. "alone" was also originally composed for the visual novel, but I found adding drums and slightly increasing the bpm ended up with such a fascinating result I just had to release it.
I want to conclude with "parentification". All I have to say on it, is that the sounds used came as a result of attempting to imitate Boards of Canada.